Double Crossing The Double Crossers: Pt 2: Let's Get Drunk

I departed from my team mates and Naruto and Sakura. Naruto, Sakura and my team mates had a mission to go to whatevers-ville and do whatever. But I had a different mission on the other hand. I had to go and feed the Akatsuki bad information on the Leaf Village, as we were painfully aware that we were Pain's newest target... And maybe, just MAYBE I’d get some information from the Akatsuki and report it back to the Leaf Village. So basically my mission was to stab the backs of the people who I aspired to be like when I was young so long ago. Of course, I didn't know of the Akatsuki, I just liked the idea of being an S-rank criminal. So in a way they were my heroes, I just didn't know that they existed at the time.

             I knew Itachi from so long ago, during our time and friendship at Konoha. Of course before he played double agent, much like I'm doing now, for the ANBU and the Uchihas and then was forced to kill his clan. In his defense, he's a lot nicer than most people would guess. He's in fact, a pacifist. Who would've thunk?

            I’m eighteen now. I’m still not legal to drink but that’s never stopped me. On the day of my eighteenth birthday Jimmy, Matt, Evan, Constance and I went out and drank ourselves stupid. Talk about a major hangover. I used to drink when I was 15, I smoked cigarettes and some other... questionable things. My criminal record is covered with underage drinking, vandalism, and stealing. I was dubbed one of the worst kids in Konaha. Save for my five other friends.

            I took the route that Itachi told me to take and I eventually came to the lair... Thank God! I was extremely tired from my walk. I straightened out my clothes before making my entrance. I was wearing red, knee high socks with combat boots and a really short black and white striped dress. I have to look good for S-rank criminals. If getting drunk them and getting the information out of them doesn’t work then sex sure would. It’s not like I was a virgin or anything. I have NO idea how many guys I’ve ever been with… But that’s beside the point.

            I wasted no more time and I walked right in. I saw no Akatsuki members and I found this odd, my guard immediately went up. I was greeted my a poison kunai of which I dodged.

            “You’re a little far from home, un.” I heard a male voice say. I realized it was Deidara, then he stepped out and the mouth on his hands started to chew something. Shit. “Leave. Now.” Another voice said. It was deep and full of power. It had to be Pain. “Who’re you?” a female voice hissed. Konan I assumed, she was the only girl here.

            “I’m Avril Bruen. I wish to speak with Pain.” I requested in a forceful, yet polite voice. I knew I had to be forceful with these people. “Yes… Avril.” Pain pondered. “What do you want?” he asked in a rude tone. “I have a proposition for you, can we talk in your office?” I asked, with no reply apparent I began to leave, knowing perfectly well what would happen. My visions of the future never lied to me. My visions showed me what would happen but not how to act to make it happen. This I had to figure out on my own.

            “What kind of information?” a deep male voice asked. It had to be Itachi. He hasn’t changed a bit. Well, since I slept with him last, which was a while ago. “Well,” I sung batting my eyes in a I’ve-got-a-secret sort of way. “I know for a fact when the Kazekage will be defenseless and when all the holidays are…” I was cut off by Itachi “We already know of the holidays in each village.” He told me, his eyes narrowing. I just shrugged it off. “I know all of the new military tactics and I happened to come across the day the Leaf Village will be out attempting to attack you guys, leaving the village practically defenseless. And I happen to be close personal friends with the boy who holds the Nine Tailed Fox and the boy who holds Shukaku. So, if it’s demons you want, I can get you them. And honestly, I don't agree with the Leaf Village. They are too focused on war and I want to help you achieve peace. As is your goal, correct? ” I finished, very pleased with all of my lies.

            “Hm…” Pein pondered. I raised an expecting eyebrow. “She's cute, I say yes.” Deidara said slyly as he eyed me up and down. I silently thanked him but I stood firm looking at the leader expectantly. “Alright…” Pein concluded. “Good,” I said before Pein could finish. “And if you let me act as a spy, I can come back with more useful information. A friend of mone works in the Hokage’s office, I can get you any information you want if I just ask.” I told him. I hoped I was doing a good job of selling myself… Great. Now I just made myself sound like a whore.

            “Oooh.” Deidara mused licking his lips. Normally I would slap him but A) He’s a S-rank criminal and B) He’s helping me sell myself.

            “So which will it be?” I asked after a while of silence. Pein was still pondering. “Come into my office." he ordered. I could feel that he was doubting me, maybe I rambled on too much? Well, whatever the case I'm sure Itachi will vouch for me, I did sleep with the guy about three years ago anyway!

            “Thanks.” I hissed pretending not to be phased by him inviting me in. “Now tell us that information, truthfully.” Pein coaxed. “I’ll tell you everything you need to know.” And with that I sat down with them and made up a bunch of lies. It was hard to lie, even with my expertise in lying. First of all Pein asked me a bunch of questions to try to confirm my information and second of all, I was nervous as a freakin' mofo.

They soon bought all of the information and we were sitting at the table drinking sake and beer and playing poker. I couldn’t help but feel my childhood dreams coming true. When I was nine I wanted nothing more than to play poker with a bunch of S-rank criminals and drink myself stupid. I said that when I turned eighteen I’d be playing and drinking with some of the worst criminals. I never knew it would happen until now.

I drank only two beers. Every time I took a swig of sake I’d pretend to take a swig of beer to wash it down. But I never drank the sake, I just spit it in the beer bottle. Everyone was too drunk to even notice.

            “So how’s Constance?” Konan asked getting a little tipsy. “She’s fine, I guess. She’s getting married soon.” I replied laying my cards down and greedily taking all of the chips in the middle. “Married?” Konan asked, I could tell I intrigued her. I just nodded. “Who’s the lucky man?” Konan questioned. “Our old team mate, Evan. They started dating about three weeks ago and they’re already getting married.” Konan nodded, I could detect a hint of sadness. After all, it is basic women instinct to want to get married and start a family. But I was surprised that she remembered who my team mates were from the basic introduction that I gave to her at the beginning. I wonder why she cared about Constance anyway. Huh.

            The Akatsuki can fuck up your life what can I say?

            “It’s sad when your best friend gets married before you isn't it, Avril?” Konan said aloud, guess she was trying to hit a soft spot or something. I just nodded and continued the game, acting unfazed by her constant questioning. 

            My beer bottles were soon filled with sake. All the guys kept pouring me more sake. I’m sure that they were perfectly wasted. I made my way to the kitchen to “get more sake” and by “get more sake” I mean pour out the sake and fill it up with water. I took my beer bottles and emptied them out also. No one would notice, everyone was too wasted.

I decided to keep giving all of them sake and vodka and anything in the pantry to try to get them to pass out. I soon gave up after two hours and went to the kitchen to “get more sake” and put crushed up pain killers that I brought in my pouch into it. That should knock them out.

I just hope that I didn't kill them. I don't even know if it was pain killers that I put into there. Huh. Maybe I was more drunk than I thought.

I pretended to be completely hammered just so no one will wonder, even if they were sane. Some people fell asleep on the table but others fell asleep on the floor. But I fell asleep on the couch in Hidan’s arms. What can I say? I’m a whore. I let my eyes rest for a while and then I got up. I knew it was time to snoop around.

To be continued!